I'm gonna try to do my best to figure out how to increase movement on both the blog and my distribution. My current job looks like it's about to crumble and I'm at that point where I'm ready to just leave the damn place and figure shit out myself. Of course, it'd be dumb just to suddenly quit without having any kind of backup plan, but I intend to get something going before my departure.
But I'm in that moment where I'm scared of what may come. This is almost the same feeling I had when I was unemployed and didn't have anything going on. This was about 5 years ago that I had the issue of being trapped at home with no one to talk to and no one to hang out with. It was lonely those years and I'm surprised that I had gotten over that hurdle. The crappy part is that I've built this foundation with some of these people that I call friends and it's been so awesome to share some experiences with them. I'm just afraid that I'll be going through that same thing again when it's all over.
I'm talking crazy, I know, but I can't help feel that the future looks a little bleak right now. The state is currently under high alert on the budget, our grading rubric with DSS is VERY rigid, and on top of that the workplace is starting to feel more like a jail cell. It's absolutely nuts.
I'm not sure what will come of the next few weeks, but jeez man.. it look like it's not going to be very good.
I recently went to the front page of Reddit and saw this thread appear. The Redditor who posted this link shared a website of her friend who recently committed suicide. Claire Marley was a photographer based out of Shawnee, KS who was interested in photographing friends and her surroundings. She was a transfer student from the Massachusetts College of Art and Design to the University of Kansas. She was also a teacher's assistant for the Shawnee Mission School District.
Most of the photographs seen in the portfolio are images of what could be her friends and surroundings. A lot these images are candid moments welcoming the audience a peak into her personal life. Some shot on film and most shot on digital, but still showcases that "at home" aesthetic. I can't say that her portfolio is strong with a good narrative flow, but I can say that these images were certainly a great start to what could have been strong bodies of work.
It's unfortunate this artist left the world early. It brings the issue that having good mental health is important. I'm not sure what her struggle was, but man it must've been so bad to the point that she wanted the pain to go away. It's okay to see a therapist. It's okay to talk to your loved ones about this kind of thing. It may seem like you're alone, but you're not and there are ways to get help.
If you or anyone who is struggling with this is please call for help.
To tell you the truth reading this thread spawned some memories that I've endured when I was young. I've lost friends through this and mental health is really important for me and my loved ones. Get help if you need it. You're not weak if you do so.
