LEFT IN THE DARK #44 - NIGHT DRIVES
Monday, October 29, 2018
To tell you the truth I couldn't drive at night with my old truck. So many things wrong with it that prevented me to drive at night. The tires in the front were balding, the front light at the right was out as well as the back light, the brakes were already worn down and starting the truck sounded like it had asthma. It was a mess and I was deeply saddened about this experience, but it's something that I had to deal with for months.
With this new car I'm able to go anywhere worry free. Doesn't mean I'm going to drive like an asshat, but it does mean the freedom to drive anywhere without any police noticing me. Sometimes you have to have a new car. It's just the way it is.
LEFT IN THE DARK #43 - SHOES
Looking back at some old work again and figuring out different crops on images. This is a typical one with photographing these shoes, but these are a pair of shoes I bought with money I actually had. It's one of my first purchases in new footwear. Strange what happens in a year.
LEFT IN THE DARK #42 - CUPS
Being honest about this, but I've definitely been drifting away from digital again. Something about it just doesn't suit me as a photographer well even though most of my education was built from it. I find it strange that the pictures I produce in camera and in post doesn't reflect the way I see things. This turns to shitty pictures with no thoughts (or at least no effort). Don't get me wrong. Purchasing the x100t was definitely a big thing for me and I realize that I haven't used it to its full potential. There are plenty of things I could use it for, but just don't seem to feel like it's going anywhere.
So yes, I haven't been photographing with this camera as much as I should, but the reasons really are that I'm just not motivated to shoot with it. I'm definitely glad that I have this camera than a big ass DSLR that I'll probably only use once or twice. It just doesn't seem to go well with what I do as a photographer.
LEFT IN THE DARK #41 - GETTING COLDER
The weather changes are starting to come in (if they haven't already). I've seen some reports of snow in other areas of the East Coast. Not looking good, but the fact that I now have a new car is something that I've happy about. Given the situation of these times I've realized how dumb I was for staying married to a truck that was going to end up dying anyway. Alas, I feel better than I'm not going to have trouble for a long time. Just as long as I keep my car and myself healthy that is.
QUIET DREAMS - SEPTEMBER
Dear September,
I'm thankful you came around and calmed me a bit. Its still strange to say I'm 33 knowing I haven't the slightest idea of how I'm going to survive when I turn 40. But I have to be patient and persistent. Sometimes you gave me sunburn and sometimes you gave me wet feet. Humid mornings when I couldn't decide on hot or cold coffee and chilly afternoons when I regretted not bringing a sweater. I've been quiet lately. Not just because I'm calm more these days, but because these memories have begun to roll in my mind. I'm feeling that my past is starting to disappear and these present and future happenings are becoming a thing I think about daily. Of course being able to reflect as a reminder of being humble has not dissolved, but it certainly isn't going to cripple what I'm trying to achieve. Maybe I'm afraid to let these memories go.
But I thank you for being here for me. You're not the type I look forward to seeing to be honest, but you were here and you were welcoming.
LEFT IN THE DARK #40 - GETTING OLDER
Monday, October 1, 2018
Just a few days ago I turned 33. It's weird to think that in all these years I'm still alive today. I've made some bad choices and made some good ones. It lead me to be here and it lead me to understand how critical choices are to your health. My life is definitely different amongst many of the people that surround me and the many that used to know me. Being in a new relationship that stems a more realistic approach in life really gave me the understanding of how much I've missed over the years. I may be late to many parties, but I think now I've just begun living life in the way I should.
I'm doing okay these days. Sometimes I get overly depressed and sometimes I think things are just getting worse. And you know what? I might be right on the "worse" part, but it doesn't stop me from being able to live life as best as I can. I just hope things are gonna be okay from here on out.
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