Thirty - Seven

Soo.. this is thirty-seven. Sort of weird because in a sense I feel like it and don't feel like it. It's funny because I almost forgot that I'm turning this age lol. Perhaps the presence of such a number is manifesting itself slowly. I think 2022 has solidified my old man status that I'm begging myself not to submit to. I'd like to think I'll be young forever, but I'm definitely getting slower. I just know it. I have to be strategic about everything I do. I have to use my time wisely. My comprehension levels can deplane a bit. What the fuck is even happening?

But things have been changing mentally and physically. I'm not saying that I have all these crazy ailments, but I do know that I have limits. I think it's okay though. I think that being this way tells me that I need to keep steady pace rather than trying to go full throttle on everything. I used to think it was okay to just burn out and then try to start over. Everything has a limit and I've just about had it with trying to go full throttle on certain things that I don't care about. Even with projects I have to ensure that I'm giving some of the process to breathe. It's a great way to establish boundaries.

I thought I had all this sentimental shit I wanted to write, but I guess I don't. Things are good. I can't stress enough how good they are. I have the priviledge of doing what I want. Not many have that. And I know earlier I had written a pretty depressing post about my faigue, but I think now I'm going to be alright. Just needed some of that validation that's all.




Thank you all who continue to view this site. I might be going off the socials for a while to adjust some meanings of what I do as an artist here. And maybe talking about my work in a location that doesn't require the use of ads might be a better suit for me.

-(_ab)